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Kelly's Story

"I can still vividly remember thinking and feeling... I am going to die."

December 16, 2019.  I can still vividly remember thinking and feeling… I am going to die.  The house we shared, my house, ransacked and vandalized.  Believing he was going kill my dog in front of me. Irreplaceable belongings in memory of both my parents purposely destroyed while I watched helplessly. Beaten, thrown, and strangled creating fear and terror I had never known.  The aftermath of blood-stained walls and a hole in the sheetrock from my head.

But the possibility of death had been there all along, and I was completely unaware.  Throughout the relationship there were lies, deceit, and manipulation I did not see.  What was left afterward gave me a clearer picture.  I believe he had pursued me with the intent to abuse me.  I believe he married me with the intent to control me.  I believe he drugged me, to make me sick and render me unconscious for rape. As legal proceedings began, physical and virtual stalking followed.  It left me feeling powerless, hopeless, isolated, out of control, and terrified all the time.  

The violence and abuse I suffered at the hands of my perpetrator was compounded by the criminal justice system and family court.  I felt unsafe and unprotected.  I was tired of reaching out for help and hearing that nothing could be done.  I felt firsthand the experience shared by so many of a broken system.  It was at this lowest point that I searched for a way that I could take back safety and control.

 

Stella, my first German Shepherd and trained protection dog, came into my life on August 6, 2020.  I remember the first moment I met her.  The trainer brought her out and she sat down beside me.  As I was petting and getting to know her, a stranger began to approach.  Stella took her paw and moved it across my ankle as if she was telling me that she had my back.  In that moment of feeling safe and secure I knew I needed her, not only for my physical well-being but for my emotional health as well.  

 

Experiencing domestic violence is incredibly traumatic, and finding safety and solace can be challenging.  But bringing Stella home changed my life and she played a crucial role in my recovery.  I started to feel safe again and began to get back the pieces of myself that I lost because of my trauma.  I was no longer afraid to leave my house.  I had structure and routine.  I regained the ability to emotionally connect with something other than with what happened to me.  I began to socialize more with friends and new people.  I started to trust others.  I smiled.  I felt purpose.  I started to come back to life and had passion for living.  I no longer felt victimized by my circumstances.  Stella breathed life into me, which began my journey into Schutzhund dog training.  

"The positive impact my dogs and their training has had on me as a survivor of domestic violence has been profound. It has healed me." 

 

It was important for me to keep up with Stella’s training, not only for her, but for me as well.  I fell in love with training protection dogs and how it made me feel.  It gave me a sense of belonging and confidence that I never experienced before.  Eventually I got another dog, Luca, as an eight-week-old puppy with the goal of competing with him in Schutzhund competitions.  Protection dogs and protection work has become a huge part of my life.  The positive impact my dogs and their training has had on me as a survivor of domestic violence has been profound. It has healed me.  This is the reason for Kelly’s K9s, Tails of Courage.  I want to give other survivors of domestic violence what these dogs and this training have given me - freedom, safety, security, empowerment, control, confidence, self-worth, independence, and most of all, healing. 

Learn more about Our Vision and Mission >

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